|
Post by Suzanne on Oct 25, 2010 21:57:46 GMT
No one is moving. The room is eerily quiet, aside from the occasional dripping sound.
The walls are covered in a pinkish sticky substance.
Ian gets to his feet and looks around. He finds Ade in the corner, a chair on top of him. He shakes Ades shoulder in at attempt to wake him.
"Not now Mum, five more minutes."
Just as Ian is about to answer a crack is heard....................
|
|
|
Post by steppedonwolf on Oct 26, 2010 22:10:37 GMT
"The Crack of Doom!" Ian wails.
Ade raises a heavy eyelid and blearily stares at the panicking Northman.
"Relax," Ade says with a yawn."That chilli sauce has f*cked by the DLS zombie thing for good. We're safe now - with the zombie god defeated, the power of the Unmentionables is no more. Now, let me have a kip..."
"I'd really welcome zombies right now, Ade," Ian says in a choked voice. "They're less scary than THAT!"
Ade, Bec and Suzanne follow Ian's trembling finger. Their eyes widen in horror at the sight...
|
|
|
Post by Suzanne on Oct 26, 2010 22:58:30 GMT
They all look in horror at the "Crack of Doom", to their utter horror it has been translated incorrectly from the original Zombinese. It really means Butt Crack of Doom.
The DLS may have been seriously messed up, alas his army of butt crack demons are stronger than ever. The sight is horrifying. Thousands of butt cracks, some hairy, some smoothe, others too frightening to allow the brain to process.
Bec passes out and lands on top of Ade. Ian is still holding his finger though it has stopped trembling, and for some reason he uses the other hand to lift up his pants a bit.
Suzanne is utterly confused by the sight in front of her, not sure if they are supposed to start kicking a%% quite literally.
Then it starts, all of them move in motion towards the group...
|
|
|
Post by Suzanne on Feb 13, 2011 18:12:21 GMT
Ade pushes Bec off of him when he sees a butt crack that isn't all that bad to look at. Quite attractive really when in the right light.
Ian pulls himself together and starts looking for a weapon, "Get up and fight, we got some butt to kick!"
Just as they are about to go into full on defensive mode, Suzanne thinks of something.
"Hey, out of curiosity, what do you think is actually between those butt cracks? I sure as hell don't want to be covered in s&*t, or blown away by something that smells like death.
Ade gets a cautious look on his face and looks around. He goes to a bookshelf and picks up a book on demons that he had bought on e-bay. Scanning through the pages he begins to pale.
"Umm I think it's worse than that..."
|
|
|
Post by steppedonwolf on Feb 18, 2011 13:43:21 GMT
Ade shakes his head in despair. "What the hell has DLS been up to? Not content with instigating the zombie apocalypse and creating a gateway that allows access to this plane of existence to the Shroud People...he's also responsible for the birth of tiny creatures in His Own Image."
Ian's face is grim. "He's also got a twisted sense of humour. Notice the mistranslation - Crack of Doom becoming Buttcrack, and what are these beasties?"
Ade closes the grimoire. "They are the Bog Beasts. Mutated monsters of the marsh, cruelly transformed into the creatures you see...and smell."
A wet gurgling sound is heard from the leader of the pack. It shuffles forwards on a trail of brown, sticky ichor that burns through the floor like xenomorph acid.
The stench is unbearable. Even worse than the smell of freshly-filled nappies from a newborn baby...the cracks widen into hideous, inhuman smiles. Squirming tentacles of brown sludge wave in the foetid air like the pubic hair of Great Cthulhu.
"How do we stop them?" Ade shakes his head in despair at Ian's question.
"We can't - "
"Yes, we can!" Suzanne barks. "DLS is laughing at us while he terrifies us. WE turn the tables. Mix up the comedy and horror...for example, what would wipe away shit from arses?"
|
|
|
Post by Suzanne on Feb 19, 2011 0:38:32 GMT
Ade, Ian, and Bec all yell "Toilet paper!"
"Wait, we ran out of that weeks ago." Ian looks uncomfortable at the admission.
"Well then what have you been using?" Suzanne is curious.
"It doesn't matter we need to improvise."
"Finally!" Suzanne sighs, "I thought I was the only one in here for a bit."
Looking around the group picks up various items that could remove shit from arses. Bec grabs a towel, Ade grabs some place mats, Ian grabs a razor which ears him a look from everyone else.
"Come on, like you've never..oh hell"
Suzanne picks up a cushion from the couch and removes the cover.
"This is our chance to turn the tables, whatever you do keep your nostrils shut, do not directly smell it. Avoid the tendrils of crap, if they grab you they will pull you into a place you do not want to go, trust me."
The group armed with make-shift butt wipes turns to the oncoming bog beasties.
"What happened to the Zombies out of curiosity?"
The group looked around to see who asked but didn't see anyone.
Tunring back to the beasties they knew the shite was about to hit the fan.
|
|